A marriage is everlasting love.
But even though everlasting love is perfectly story book, marriage isn't. At least not automatically. Getting married is like walking into Mordor.
It's sacrifice.
It gets routine.
It gets dull.
You get annoyed with seeing the same person.
You get tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.
(that's right, I'm a lady, I'm biased. Deal with it.)
You get tired.
There's stress.
There's bad days.
There's worse days.
There are days where you want to jump on the trend of D-I-V-O-R-C-E
BUT
This is marriage. Almost everyone goes through this. I wish people wouldn't jump to cut the knot. I wish they would just try harder. I wish people would see that often times, the problem is not with one but with both of you. It almost always comes down to pride and ego. It's usually that venomous combination that turns something as silly as "Give me back the charger cable" to "Give me back the charger cable or else we're through".
We have to learn that in a marriage we need to leave our ego at the door. This isn't some street fight you're trying to win, this si your spouse. For better or for worse. Don't believe TV. Heck don't believe anyone who says they have a perfect marriage, they probably don't want to reveal they have faults. Instead of listening to everyone else, listen to each other and try to do for your spouse at the level you want them to do for you. Don't nag each other. Don't belittle each other. Above all, everlasting love is what brought you together. Try to remember and focus on that.
If you feel like you're losing a battle to your pride, try an HONEST pros list. Not a Pros and Cons, because you're already focusing on the cons if your at this point. Just an HONEST pros list. It's surprising how much your spouse does for you that you even know of. Let alone all the little unspoken contributions, sacrifices and compromises you've made for each other.
Remember to love each other every day, when things are rough or smooth. Communicate your thoughts to your spouse in a kind manner, and LISTEN as your spouse communicates to you. Be spontaneous and your love and romance and don't sit around and expect the other to initiate. You want romance, go for it. Teach your spouse what it is to be romantic, in your eyes. Sometimes you'll find things that you thought were stupid, your spouse found to be romantic. Just. Love. Each. Other.
Marriage is compromise
it's love
it's kindness
it's safety
it's warmth
it's home
it's support
it's being with your best friend who loves you even at your worst. it's being with your lover then right after you can slip back into the mundane. It's a union and always remember that. Change the "I" mentality into a "WE". And always, always, leave the selfishness and ego at the door.
Yours truly,
The Inconsistent Gal
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